Listen & view Kurt Metzger's lyrics & tabs

Kurt Metzger (born August 15, 1977) is an American stand-up comedian, actor, and an Emmy and Peabody Award winning writer for his work on the television series Inside Amy Schumer. Metzger was raised in Toms River, New Jersey. He was raised as a Jehovah's Witness and became an ordained minister at the age of 17; he left the faith at about the age of 21, around the time he started doing stand-up. A...read more

piano stand-up under 2000 listeners stand-up comedy

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Top Tracks of Kurt Metzger

Some Things You DO NOT Joke About!
Kurt Metzger Seems A Little TOO Obsessed With This.
The Gulf Spill Affects All Of Us, And Guidos.
Kurt Metzger Breaks His Mother's Heart
Cash4gold, Facebook, Your Virginity, And You!
Kurt Explains Why America Is Still Number 1.
Kurt Metzger Needs To Get Out More.
Get Ready For A Letdown!
The Mayan Prophecies, 2012, And You!
A Heavy Mexican Lunch With Ice Cream For Dessert.
Ricky! Noooooooooo!
But Kurt Does Have A Point, Right?
A Sweaty Monster Gets Everyone to Forgive Tiger Woods.
Kurt Talks To Young People About Dating And Plastic Surgery.
Know Your Gyno!
No One Has Suffered More Than Me
Kurt Talks To Young People About Fat Chicks And Alaska.
Kurt Talks To Young People About Safe Assplay.
Last of The Great White Jobs.
This One Is Hard To Justify!
Hold Your Own Fucking Purse.
Kurt Talks To Young People About Interracial Dating.
Steve, Get Out of My Way!
I'm Basically Salman Rushdie.
Straight talk about jizz.
Award Winning Michael Jackson Joke Followed By Frank Discussion Of Sexual Abuse.
Shitting, Hair Loss, Shitting Shitting.
Kurt Metzger Is An Old Knickerbocker.
Kurt Metzger Makes A Brave Decision.
Kurt Explains Evolution To Young People And Why God Is A Woman.
Kurt Talks To Young People About Fisting.
Curing AIDS The Kinoki Way!
Terry The Smoker
This Joke's A Fifty Fifty.
All Kidding Aside I Had A Great Time In Anchorage.
White Precious
Jehovah's Witness Drama - This Is Not Happening - Uncensored
The Gulf Spill Affects All Of Us, And Guidos [Explicit]
Some Things You Do Not Joke About! [Explicit]
A Sweaty Monster Gets Everyone To Forgive Tiger Woods [Explicit]
Kurt Explains Why America Is Still Number 1 [Explicit]
My First Bike (Jfl 2009)
Cash4gold, Facebook, Your Virginity, And You! [Explicit]
Kurt Talks To Young People About Fat Chicks And Alaska [Explicit]
A Heavy Mexican Lunch With Ice Cream For Dessert [Explicit]
Kurt Talks To Young People About Dating And Plastic Surgery [Explicit]
The Left Hates Liberals More Than Nazis
Straight Talk About Jizz [Explicit]
Kurt Talks To Young People About Interracial Dating [Explicit]
This One Is Hard To Justify! [Explicit]
Kurt Explains Evolution To Young People And Why God Is A Woman [Explicit]
Kurt Talks To Young People About Fisting [Explicit]
Know Your Gyno! [Explicit]
Shitting, Hair Loss, Shitting Shitting [Explicit]
Hold Your Own Fucking Purse [Explicit]
Award Winning Michael Jackson Joke Followed By Frank Discussion Of Sexual Abuse [Explicit]
Curing Aids The Kinoki Way! [Explicit]
The Mayan Prophecies, 2012, And You! [Explicit]
Kurt Talks To Young People About Safe Assplay [Explicit]
The Gulf Spill Affects All Of Us, And Guidos
Angels We Have Heard On High
O Tannenbaum
A Heavy Mexican Lunch With Ice Cream For Dessert
Kurt Explains Why America Is Still Number 1
Joy to the World
Shitting, Hair Loss, Shitting Shitting
A Sweaty Monster Gets Everyone To Forgive Tiger Woods
O du fröhliche
Straight talk about Jizz
Kurt Talks To Young People About Fisting
While Shepherds Watched Their Flocks
Nu Tändas Tusen Juleljus (A Thousand Candles Now Are Lit)
Kurt Talks To Young People About Interracial Dating
God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen
O Come, O Come, Emmanuel
Kurt Talks To Young People About Dating And Plastic Surgery
Award Winning Michael Jackson Joke Followed By Frank Discussion Of Sexual Abuse
Stars Were Gleaming
Kurt Talks To Young People About Safe Assplay
Kurt Talks To Young People About Fat Chicks And Alaska
Jared from Subway (Jfl 2016)
När juldagsmorgon glimmar (When Christmas Morning Gleams)
Away In A Manger
Good King Wenceslas
Deck the Hall
O Come, Little Children
Kurt Explains Evolution To Young People And Why God Is A Woman
Hold Your Own Fucking Purse
Once in Royal David's City
Relaxing Crime Show (Jfl 2016)
Hark! The Herald Angels Sing
The Playdate from Hell - This Is Not Happening
The First Noël
I'll Be Home For Christmas
Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas
The Christmas Song
My Roommate Steve (Jfl 2013)
Short Buff Guys (Jfl 2016)
Lo, How a Rose E'er Blooming
O Little Town of Bethlehem
Bring A Torch, Jeanette, Isabella
Silent Night
White Christmas
Wendy Reveal (Jfl 2013)
Kurt Talks To Young People About Fucking
Jehovah's Witness Drama
Hold Your Own F*****g Purse.
Straight Talk About J**z.
Cash4gold, Facebook, Your Virginity, And You! / A Sweaty Monster Gets Everyone To Forgive Tiger Woods
Some Things You Do Not Joke About
Straight Talk About Jizz / Hold Your Own Fucking Purse
Curing AIDS The Kinoki Way! / Kurt Talks To Young People About Safe Assplay
Kurt Talks to Young People About F*****g.
A Sweaty Monster Gets Everyone To Forgive Tiger Woods.
Straight Talk About Jizz.
Award winning Michael Jackson joke followed by frank discussion of sexual abuse.
Ricky! Noooooooooo! [Explicit]
White Precious [Explicit]
But Kurt Does Have a Point, Right? [Explicit]
No One Has Suffered More Than Me [Explicit]
30 Minutes With Kurt Metzger | Presented By GaS Digital
Get Ready for a Letdown! [Explicit]
White Phone Calls (Jfl 2014)
Kurt Metzger Seems A Little TOO Obsessed With This. [Explicit]
Steve, Get out of My Way! [Explicit]
I'm Basically Salman Rushdie. [Explicit]
Last of The Great White Jobs. [Explicit]
Kurt Metzger Needs To Get Out More. [Explicit]
Kurt Metzger Breaks His Mother's Heart [Explicit]
Kurt Talks To Young People About Interracial Dating / Award Winning Michael Jackson Joke Followed B
Shitting, Hair Loss, Shitting Shitting / This One Is Hard To Justify!
This Joke's A Fifty Fifty. [Explicit]
Kurt Metzger Is An Old Knickerbocker. [Explicit]
All Kidding Aside I Had A Great Time In Anchorage. [Explicit]
Terry The Smoker [Explicit]
CCP - 1301 - Kurt Metzger
Tiger Woods
Is An Old Knickerbocker
Kurt Talks To Young People About Fat Chicks And Alaska / A Heavy Mexican Lunch With Ice Cream For Dessert
Award winning Michael Jackson joke followed by frank discuss
Kurt explains evolution to young people and why God is a wom
Dating
Forgive Tiger Woods
Fat Chicks And Alaska
But Kurt Does Have A Point, Right
Why America Is Still #1
Kurt Talks To Young People About Fucking.
Kurt Metzger Makes a Brave Decision. [Explicit]
Kurt Talks To Young People About Safe Assplaymp3
Comedy Central Presents
Kurt Metzger Makes A Brave Decision
I'm Basically Salman Rushdie
Cash4Gold, Facebook, Your Virginity
The Gulf Spill Affects All Of Us
Interracial Dating
Kurt Metzger Seems A Little TOO Obsessed With This
Shitting, Hair Loss, Shitting, Shit
All Kidding Aside, I Had a Great Time in Anchorage.
Last of The Great White Jobs
Fishing
lurch_b_jew
Shitting, Hair Loss, Shitting
Kurt Metzger (Talks to Young People About Sex) - 06. Kurt Talks to Young People About Fat Chicks and Alaska. -
White Precious - Jaywalking Ticket
Get Ready For A Let Down
Talks To Young People About Sex
Kurt Metzger (Talks to Young People About Sex) - 15. Kurt Explains Evolution to Young People and Why God Is a Woman. -
The Playdate from Hell
11 Track11
12 Track12
06 Track6
Kurt Metzger Is An Old Knickerbocker
Award-Winning Michael Jackson Joke Followed By Frank Discussion of Sexual Abuse.
10 Track10
09 Track9
All Kidding Aside I Had A Great Time In Anchorage
Seems A Little Too Obsessed
This Joke's A Fifty Fifty
Land Cosby @ Comedy Cellar
Fisting
Just For Laughs Radio
Cash4Gold Facebook Your Virginity
Kurt Talks To Young People About Dating And Plastic Surgery [Ex
Cash4Gold, Facebook, Your Virginity,
Kurt Talks To Young People About Interracial Dating / Award Winning Michael Jackson Joke Followed By Frank Discussion Of Sexual Abuse / The Mayan Prophecies, 2012, And You!
Kurt Talks To Young People About Fat Chicks And Alaska / A Heavy Mexican Lunch With Ice Cream For D
Cash4gold, Facebook, Your Virginity, And You! / A Sweaty Monster Gets Everyone To Forgive Tiger Woo
Kurt Metzger
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